What do I really want?

Of all my friends and "known-people" there is this one who calls me "material girl". Of all my complex personalities, one who knows almost nothing about me is also the one who describes one of all my personalities the best with just one word.

Some others consider me as a romantic person. All of sudden, I once recognized that I'm really a die-hard romantic girl, too. What else to describe about one who believe in "one love for a lifetime" theory?

Many else while think of me as an ironic one. This is the most well-known of all my personalities. Believe me, you can never think of any other better words describing one who consider marriage is the tomb of eternal love and Romeo & Juliet is a stupid love story. (hey, who can die for love but cannot live for the sake of love?)


Mom said that she really didn't know what I really want anymore. Mom, for your information, I somehow don't even know about that, too. Have you ever watched the series "Nip/Tuck"? There is this line from the series that just runs around my mind for awhile, "Tell me what you don't like about yourself" and/or "what do you want to change if you can?". Hey, I know none ever believes what I want to change if I ever had my way. You know... having someone who has the same strain of thinking, same strain of mind is one of the most difficult things in ones' life. Really, who want to be that way... not intelligent enough to be a genius but also not normal enough to just be a normal person...

So what do I really want? Damn if I know!